I remember the elation I had when buying the book. I kept on thinking how I’ve finally found her book which I didn’t know she had written. I love memoirs for the mere fact that you don’t have to be a renowned person or whatever. It’s an account of your life and every human being counts, we all matter and I love perspective, different perspectives. I am such a slow reader for such a light book, in terms of language and even subject. But whatever works for me right?
[silently whispers]To each their own...
Amy Schumer is that crazy big sister you don’t have but meet in camp or in high school and rubs off on you right away for her blatant honesty and unapolegetic nature. And the humour. She takes shame so well, I feel like I can run the world at this point. I wish I knew her personally. Or maybe not. Imagination is never the same as reality.
She talks about vaginas and her only one-night stand ever, being an introvert, her stuffed animals, shoplifting with her sister,how she loves pasta, becoming a woman, boys, growing up Jewish,losing her virginity,becoming a stand-up comedian, how her mom sorta fucked her and her siblings, her dad’s illness, how much she loves New York, how it’s home for her, living with an abusive boyfriend, gun violence, yup, things become pretty heavy.
I am not going to tell you in detail what the book is about, that’s for you to find out.This book made me introspective about how I think about things, how trivial things take up a huge chunk of my overthinking and overanalysis of things. It has made me realise that life is short, you know, like it really is and fussing over such frivolities is just a waste of energy. I used to think that I don’t give a shit about how people think about me but I do and I give plenty of shits about that but reading her own account about how confident she is in who she is, in being vulnerable, in being imperfect and flawed gave me a proper boost. I don’t want to take life too seriously. I figured I’ll miss out on some of the greatest things and people too. All over sudden, I have this surge(that’s not dopamine) of being comfortable in my skin, knowing that all my flaws and imperfections equal my strengths and who Joy is. I know that we always hear about self-confidence and loving who we are and being okay with who we are but until you are self-aware of it then you don’t know what self-love and self-confidence feels and tastes like.
I am learning that I have the power, all the power in who I am. I am learning that if I give someone else the power to define me I’m the one who’s losing out. As I grow older, I want to live my most authentic self, to experience life wholly. I am learning that my vulnerability is my strength. I should not feel intimidated or ashamed cause of that.I am learning that trying to avoid pain won’t protect me from it.I should be able to look my fears in the face and be strong enough to weather it all, whether I kickass or get knocked out. This woman(Schums) is a strong-ass woman in all the sense of that word, my goodness!
We all want to be this epic creatures and be super achievers and for the longest time, my greatest fear was not living to the end of this that I’d end up being the most basic human being to grace this planet and it always made me sad and I would dislike myself for a split second but I just figured that as long as it brings me happiness and immense joy then that’s what matters. In her chapter about New York apartments, I realized the true value of home,like truly. To think that as her income increased, she would move to a leafier suburb and a more plush location, the likes of Beverly Hills because that’s the obvious thing to do.She doesn’t.She describes how much she loves New York and how she would do anything to live there. I really love vanilla icecream and I used to think that I’m so basic for not having blue raspberry or pistachio whatever as my favorite flavour but I am loving my basic ass. Vanilla ice-cream for the win guys!!!
Above all, I love being a woman, as fucked up as our generation and patriarchal society is. There’s so much going on it’s frustrating but you just gotta shut all that blabber out and embrace your own damn self and know what you deserve. Magazines will tell us this, about being the perfect size, about being desired by men, about how to do it right- they continuously manipulate us to think that’s something we should strive for and even have editions that echo ‘beauty inclusivity’ to show that we’re all accepted but FUCK THAT!
To quote Amy one more time;”I am beautiful and strong and I need no label or any kind of validation for that. I don’t need anyone to tell me my worth. My power comes from within, who I am and what I do. I don’t need that constant hum in the background telling me whether or not I’m good enough.The people I love love me. I am doing well at being human. I am fearless,most times but sometimes I am reduced to a mess and I am okay with that cause guess what? we all have that shit. I’m not bulletproof despite building myself up and truly loving myself but I know my worth, I embrace my power. I will determine my story, not anyone else. I’ll speak and share and love and I will never apologize for it.I am amazing for you, not because of you.I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you.”
If this does not stir anything in your core,then…
read that last paragraph again, just one more time.
˜Love,peace and joy˜