FIX YOU-NUGGET III

“She is going to kill me when she figures out,well before…never mind.I can see the murderous looks she darts at me and I know very well that if I don’t tell her soon,she’ll start those interrogations of hers that I don’t like because she literally scratches all surfaces,uncovering all hidden truths,leaving  me all naked.I have no idea how she does that,I did try taking a page or two from her and it did not go as expected.You can picture it.I trust this girl so much,this is an understatement.I do not know what kind of human being I would have been without her.I still think up to date she is my own kind of angel from the day we clicked ;she is not perfect,infact,she is far from it,she is not all bust-to-hips ratio 24:34 or whatever it is the universe wants to define as perfect because you know what,beautiful in my world has a very queer definition.It does not even have any specific words to it,I find beauty in the subtlety of things;like how she cannot do a perfect 180° cartwheel,hers is more of 108° and that is nothing compared to what she does,she starts off so well then midair her legs jumble up and communication between her brains and legs is cut short(enemies I tell you) and then she ends it up with a completely unknown stunt to the human race.I can bet only martians are aware of what is always going on with her at that particular moment,and how she stares off into the distance when she’s spacing out is beyond adorable because she makes multiple of faces,I can not even start imagining what silly arguments she’s normally having at those moments…”friends or big bang theory?undateable or baby daddy?No,new girl outdoes all those…uurgh,or maybe I should have someone else’s opinion on this.No,I think I can make a small decision by myself without anyone’s input or maybe I should just ask,but then again I think I actually want something that is science fiction themed or maybe a thriller.But why am I making such a fuss out of this?Jeez!I can be pedantic at times…”I am so sure it is such things that give her a hard time.Major things I tell you,major things.She is such a klutz,like who in the world is as klutzy(if this word exists at all)as she is.I swear at times I think of getting her real aid,maybe something from Help A Klutz Organization,you know.I kid you not,I’m not even exaggerating in any way though she says that I do,but I do not blame her because she’s not the one on the receiving end of her clumsy ways.

And when she is paying attention to me,she maintains some serious eye contact which I find oddly attractive for a person.You know the lame saying ‘eyes are the windows to the soul’,I think I see right through to her soul, as cheesy as that sounds.She has serious eye contact,it’s like she is a fortune teller of some sort chanting their way into you or a sorcerer perhaps,I’m still debating on which is her stronger suit of the two.She is also the fearless  kind,I did not even know such kind of personalities did exist and it is not that hers is acquired from life’s harsh blows or anything. C’mon, have you seen where the girl lives?That kind of life doesn’t have blows,just little handshakes or maybe I am stretching it a little.She is just a natural at it and then on top of it, a ton of life’s rough “handshakes”.She is the bold kind,the ones who are not afraid to speak their minds.Her mouth runs as fast as that deer out there in the Mara and I like her because of that,even with the many slips, wrong choice of words ,the unfiltered words,she still nails it and the best thing is that she is a fierce lover despite the fact that she loathes it when I tell her that and never admits it,at least to my face.She’s the sacrificial type,she would do anything for the people she loves,kill a mosquito even,like don’t you mess with her loved ones lest you face her wrath.

With her,I’ve been a better person,a better friend,a better son,a better brother.I quit my douche bag tendencies when I realized that someone,maybe there’s someone who can understand you as a person.My dark soul was so used to hiding in the gallows,covered with cobwebs and layers and layers of dust but she came with such bright light-glowing,shimmering light-that cleared all that away almost instantaneously. I should admit I was quite the piece of work,but it is the end product that we’re looking at,isn’t it?So, I still say she is the angel that my life needed and what timing could be perfect other than this?I think I should shout it on the rooftops,no?That would not be enough.Serenade her?Wait…What?Am I looking for her hand in marriage stupid?hell naah!Even if I write it on my forehead and scream into her earlobes,she would love that for sure but she would not show it,brush it off like it is nothing but deep down I know the number of times she is fist bumping the air and doing some silly happy dances inside her head.

See why I can not tell her all that is going on because I know it will crush her,literally.It will tear her apart and she will try to act like nothing happened,like there’s no thick,grey cloud hovering above waiting for the downpour go-sign.She will put up a fearless composure,the nothing-can-shake-me one, but that will last for what?A day?Two days?A week?My resolve is wearing out and my conscience too is going down the drain.I’m in a standstill,the proverbial caught between a rock and a hard place.She is a combination of all these amazing things and if I do tell her,the radiating light that reflects in her eyes will slowly but surely die because of me.I can not be selfish like that.I have to be selfless.God ,I’m trying so hard,so damn hard and I do not know,I just don’t.”